I decided that I should get fit and after several months of putting it off, I decided the time had come to go to the Olympic Stadium swimming pool. I got my towel and my costume and went one stop on the metro (it would have been quicker I had a bike – but as it got stolen…).
I had hoped to get there first thing in the morning but it didn’t open until 12:30pm and even though I had plenty of time to think of an excuse not to go, I stuck to my guns. £3.50 seems a lot to pay for a dip but I was at the counter and had purchased the obligatory cap (£1).
The Chinese are not very hot on privacy and although they are called “changing rooms” there are no changing rooms. There are just lockers and lots of naked Chinese women walking around and chatting to eat other. I walked in and of course, they all looked at me and the three women who are obviously employed to wear a uniform and sit at a table at chatting, smiled at me and watched me as I made my way to my locker.
“How the hell am I going to get changed with all these people watching me?” I found a space between two lockers which was out of the glare of the three women who had taken a particular interest in me, and managed with a bit of contortion, to get my costume on without exposing myself for more than a couple of seconds.
As I walked towards the pool there were a dozen women all showering in cubicles (no doors or curtains), lathering themselves up with soap, washing and chatting with their neighbours. I tried to exit the locker room without filling my head with the image of these women and nearly walked into a wall.
Eventually, after going the wrong way, I made it to the pool where there were quite a few people (adults only) doing lengths. I tried to walk tall and straight and breathe in but predictably my Goddess-like physique drew the gaze of many although, to be fair to them, they tried not to make it too obvious.
I sought the sanctuary of the pool and wondered how many lengths I could do in half an hour. I had the target of 20. However, during the first length I was quite glad I had chosen the lane next to the wall! By the time I got to the end of the first lap I realised that 20 was a bit ambitious.
I did a couple more lengths but realised that I was going a lot slower than the others and decided to go to the beginners pool where people were moving more slowly. It had the added benefit of having shorter lengths.
So, to cut a long story short, I managed 8 lengths and my arms hurt so much that I had no choice but to leave and go home. Dressing was another lesson in contortion and carrying my bag home was agonising.
I don’t even want to think about swimming again until my body has stopped hurting.