There was a Chinese doctor installed in one of the small rooms at the office today and we were encouraged to have a go. I went, with no special problems to be fixed, but just to have a look. He immediately plugged me into an electronic version of acupuncture. It was two heated pads which had slices of ginger on them and sent electrical currents into my body.
It felt as if someone had a small hammer and was tapping on my skin at intermittent intervals. I knew it was electric currents because I have been electrocuted several times and it felt a bit like that. But the give-away was when the current stopped pulsing through my system, every 20 seconds or so, my arms fell onto the armrests of the chair.
The Chinese medicine doctor swore it was not electricity but what else can it be when the device they use is completely flat but it feels like someone is prodding you? I’ll put it down to my bad Chinese but I’m telling you, it was an electric current – I know one when I feel one. I still remember being dared by my father to touch an electric fence! 
I sat with the faux acupuncture machine stuck to my back for 20 minutes and then he insisted on using cups to suck out the badness from me. These didn’t really feel like much as all, just a giant love bite. I imagined that blood was being sucked out a dripping down my back but he promised me it was just the badness!
He was pleased to show me the condensation which had covered the plastic of one of the cups. That’s the badness apparently. My colleague Ma Hu, was braver than me. He decided to go for the everything including the electric foot acupuncture machine (which made him yelp!) and the electric eye acupuncture. I would definitely stop short of allowing acupuncture anywhere near my mince pies.
And after all that, my shoulders do feel a little looser but that could be because he gave them a good old massage too. I think the cupping is ridiculous and a complete waste of time. I can imagine that have my muscles electrocuted might loosen them up a bit but I think the most useful was hands-on massage.
I don’t think I’ll be making an appointment at the Traditional Chinese Hospital any time soon but I was pleased to have been given the chance to experience it.