Speak plain English please

By | March 14, 2015

I looked up an old school friend to see where he was working now and found details as follows

The company is a global software development company committed to helping marketers own every customer experience. We provide a truly automated, flexible, and predictive customer experience management platform that seamlessly combines web content management with customer intelligence to drive real one-on-one engagement with every customer at every touchpoint.

What a load of rubbish. I have read in several times and I still don’t know what this company does. Why do people feel the need to try to boggle readers with words which mean nothing.

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For heaven’s sake… what is a ‘touchpoint’? ‘customer intelligence’, ‘one-to-one engagement’ ‘own every customer’. He would do well to pay a visit to the Plain English Society’s website.

How are English learners to be expected to understand this gobbledygook but that, I suppose, could be why they do it. Perhaps it makes them feel powerful and important to read things nobody else understands. Well, I have news for you my old friend, it just makes you seem like you cannot write properly. We shared an English classroom for at least 8 years so why can’t you also write properly?

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